News Barron

Jair Bolsonaro, imprisoned patriot and former president of Brazil, just can't be kept down. His sperm has now forced a runoff election, threatening to unseat commie president Lula da Silva tonight by pulling 2% more of the vote.

In Brazil, where everything is ass-backwards — four different voltages in any given AC adapter, and every meal with a dessert version slathered in dulce de leche — they of course had to come up with a bizarre election system that makes it retardedly hard to challenge incumbents. That did not matter for Flavio Bolsonaro, who seems poised to rip the presidency away from Scum Lula and put it back in the hands of dirty Brazilian brown mutt patriots.